I am that person who is still saying “Happy New Year” easily up until MLK Day. If it’s my first time seeing or speaking to you after MLK Day, you still may get a Happy New Year and a smile. Considers yourself warned.
As I’ve used my wonderfully gifted Starbucks gift cards in recent days, I am noticing I’m not alone in keeping the freshness of the year at the forefront of folks minds. No matter the location, I’ve noticed Starbucks is wondering what folks New Year’s resolutions are. At some locations the question is asked on a swanky chalk board with colorful hand drawn fireworks framing the question “What’s your new year’s resolution?” In other locations there’s a board with the same question and post its from baristas and customers with their responses affixed to it, scattered, colorful, like handwritten fireworks.
In sessions with clients the topic has come up and has been peppered with spoken feelings of anxiety, shame, doubt, avoidance, and annoyance. The thought of resolutions, promises, of goals, just out here choking the happy out of the new year, silencing what could be the opportunity for hope, an expansion of expectancy, the wonder of growth, the resolve to live honestly from one’s capacity, or the choice to simply continue.
I can’t say I lean too far either way in the direction of a love or a loathing for goals and resolutions at the top of the year. Perhaps, if the past few years of my absolutely unexpected return to living in Philadelphia, I stopped waiting for new years, months, weeks, or days, and started looking at life as moment by moment. At any given moment I, you, we can start anew, or…we can continue.
As I cozied up on my couch in the cutest pair of multi colored zebra print flannel pajamas (seriously, super cute and were on a sweet sale at Nordstrom Rack. I love a good shopping moment), thoroughly enjoying pizza from the shop across the the street (love me some mom and pop shop pizza) , pleased with the snacks and movies I was moments away from digging into for the night, I snagged my journal to do what I usually do- reflect on the year that was and what I hope for the year to come. In so doing, I didn’t desire to start anything new. I wasn’t avoiding, being anxious, or doubtful about the new year or new goals. I realized I started some really good things in the last couple of years and this was the year, 2022, was my year to continue. I wrote the word “continue” big and bold in my journal, closed it, smiled, and proceeded with my New Year’s Eve festivities.
So here I am, on the cusp of two weeks into the new year, fully aware of the social media tension between accounts pro “new year new you” and others pro self compassion manifesting in the absence of new promises, resolutions, and goals, fully aware of all the implied resolutions to have with ads and sales or workout attire, fully aware of clients wrestling with goal setting connected to the new year, content in continuing and wanting to encourage you to do the same.
I bet if you’re honest with yourself, you have started some good things in the past couple of years. I bet you’ve set some boundaries and kept them, you’ve budgeted better, you’ve read more, you’ve shifted your social networks to shed more toxic relationships and nurture healthier ones. I’ve bet you’ve kept up with a schedule for keeping your home tidy and laundry more manageable, you’ve found a rhythm for caring for your hair or nails while honoring financial goals. You’ve advocated for yourself more, parented in a way you noticed your kid responds well too, have been journaling. You’ve started therapy, or even returned to it in a better space to do the deep work of changing and healing. You’ve been speaking more kindly to yourself, increased your awareness of triggers and used your coping skills to manage them. I know you have started some good things, and you have the grace to continue them.
Grace loves a good road trip. It loves to travel with you for the long haul. It is 100% down for sustaining you, for walking with you, for lingering, for continuing with you.
My hope for you in the new year is that you continue, and in a good way. No continuing unhealthy and harmful ways of moving through the world. I hope you know there is no shame in continuing, nothing less important, nothing less fireworks worthy in continuing the good work you’ve begun. I hope you rest in knowing the same grace that has begun with you, is present with you even now, and will continue its presence with you until completion. It is still here as you keep going, as you abide, as you continue.
With Love,
Grit + Grace