It was my shortcut to one of the public restrooms in the city that’s pretty well maintained. Up the escalator, past the shoes, coats and workout wear to the right, dresses by brands I love like French Connection, BCBG, and Garcia to the left. I’d taken the shortcut enough to know exactly where this bright royal blue sweater that was on clearance was, and to regularly check and see if it went on an even better sale. The discounted rate was pretty good for the quality and brand, but I knew what I wanted to pay and that red sticker needed a slight adjustment. By slight I meant only by ten additional dollars.
Recently while actually lingering in the store to pass the time waiting to meet with a friend for dinner, so not shortcut through the store, I managed to actually see the clearance signs for what they truly were. The signs no longer familiarly read “Clearance- 50% off”. No, they read “Clearance- an additional 50% off.” I paused. How had I missed this? How had I missed the details of this super familiar sign, so much so that I decided the sweater just would not make friends with the other sweaters in my closet if the price didn’t drop at least ten more dollars? Needles to say, I purchased said royal blue chunky knit open cardigan style sweater for fifteen dollars less than what the red sticker said (and I only wanted it to be tend dollars less!) and in fact I am wearing it proudly, cozily, warmly, and happily as I type these very words.
I don’t know about you, but I think sometimes we miss grace because we’ve become so familiar with it. We think we know what grace looks like, when and how it will show up, all of the reasons we need it and all the purposes it has in our lives. We know where to find it, and we even know what exactly we will and won’t do for it (we want it for ten dollars less, ten minutes less, one less encounter with the boss whom we are confident we could do a better job than, or one more night with the person we do like but we know isn’t a healthy relationship, etc.), even though grace really demands nothing of us and offers itself freely, favorably, and always unearned.
We become so familiar that we miss grace in the details. We just keep going, familiarly utilizing it as a shortcut to next. We miss grace working- its presence, its purpose, its gifts of grit, wisdom, discernment, integrity, compassion, etc. We miss the very things we want, that grace even wants for us.
God in His graciousness is not out here wanting bad things for us, purposing us for things that we hate. That would be cruel and unloving and that’s just not how God rolls, it’s not who He is. Yes, there will be times where in order to be who we have been purposed to be, in order to live into His good plan, we will encounter things that feel anything but good. But those moments are not purposeless or wasted. I almost missed the very sweater I was stalking for weeks, that had been on an additional discount very friendly to my budget for at least a week. I almost missed what I wanted because I was so familiar I stopped paying attention. I stopped lingering. I didn’t slow down. I didn’t make room for the slightest change- 50% off to an additional 50% off.
We think we know Mondays, Fridays, our work schedules, our commute, our partners, children, parents, dog walkers, baristas at our favorite cafes. We think we know our favorite songs, books, bible verses, and movies. We think we know the quickest way to get to restaurant amid rush hour, the store that has the best deal for food for the upcoming barbecue, etc. We think we know ourselves, how our lives are meant to be, and how God and His grace will show up. Yet, I am finding in all of this knowing we are readily missing, knowing in part and not fully, despite a grace, a God, who knows fully, always.
We are readily missing the details because we think we know. We are readily missing grace because we think we know grace. Grace knows us. It knows we get familiar and we forget. It knows that our familiarity we forget to expect, anticipate, wonder. We accept, we grow anxious, we wander, we don’t linger, and we miss.
My prayer this week is that you consider that which with you’ve grown familiar and see what you may be missing. That you’d slow down just enough to notice the details of grace working in your life. Perhaps the places where you need to be more gracious with yourself or the ways others have been more gracious towards you. My you slow down just enough to read your life this week, to see your life this week, to listen to your life this week. May you notice how the words, the shade, the melody in this season has changed. May you slow down enough to expect, anticipate, and wonder. May you see grace this week and linger, because grace sees you and has you covered.