I was beyond ready for my four day getaway to Old Town Alexandria, VA. Hotel reservations were made months ago, train tickets purchased weeks ago, dinner and brunch reservations at a few local restaurants have been made, pedicure with a nail polish color that shouts fresh and fun has been had, and I have been mentally selecting outfits since…shortly after reserving the hotel. There are off the shoulder dress options for both day and evening, shorts options for day wear, shorts and sneakers for morning walks, what I imagine as the perfect dress for Sunday brunch, and quite a few sandal options for day and evening.
A few days before actually packing my bag I knew it was time to come out of the various outfits I’d put together in my head and slide into them while trying them on. I was particularly eager to try on one outfit, anticipating it as the perfect first official full day of vacation look. Sure enough, as I tried the outfit on it was not even close to “the outfit” not for that day or any day. The hard work I’d been putting in to slowly lose the pounds I’d gained over the past year was paying off, and so things didn’t fit as well as they had when I initially purchased them and tried them on a few months back. With mixed feelings (I mean who doesn’t want to lose a few inches? I changed the outfit. I tried on another, and another until finally what I saw in the mirror gave me all the feels a great sis is on vacay outfit is supposed to give. I kept remixing my look until I was pleased with and confident in what I saw.
Sometimes we don’t like what our life’s mirror reflects- and that’s fine. What’s not so fine is when we don’t “change the outfit “until we see a reflection that is drenched in grace, we take pleasure in, smile at, snap a selfie cause we’re so cute, accept, are compassionately loving towards, and confident in. If you don’t like what the mirror is reflecting, maybe it means you’ve got to change the outfit.
If you are finding that your life these days, emphasis on your, is not reflective of you- your beliefs, values, core characteristics, talents, goals, purpose, or abilities, let alone the future you see for yourself, then you have to change your look. You have to notice the top is a little looser or tighter than you’d like, the pants not as flattering as you remember, and the hues of blue too drastic and not giving you the monochromatic look you imagined. You have to choose between the block heel or the stiletto, if you can get away with the slipper style flat or a pointed flat, if mixing up the patterns between your shoe and the dress is something you can pull off. Only you will know if the sequins is too much or the dress as understated as it is needs the sparkle of a great necklace or cuff style bracelet.
Only you will know for sure what in your life needs to change in order to reflect the life you know you were given abundant grace (and grit) created to live.
You know like only you can, whether or not the person you are about to marry is really the person that will best complement your life and the future you desire for yourself. You know like only you can if you haven’t heard back from whatever university or college you’ve dreamed of attending is really because you never completed the application (not an unorganized admissions office). You know like only you can know if you are living above your means, no matter how awesome the sale is, or if you are living below your potential because the past is still painful and humiliating and holding you captive. You know if the job you have is a job or what you believe to be work that is meaningful, vocationally fulfilling, and allows you to use your gifts, talents, and abilities. You know like only you can if you’ve been having an emotional affair, telling yourself that because no physical boundaries have been crossed you and your actual partner are just fine.
You also know what needs changing.
Don’t look at this screen and shake your head and say “Oh Ahyana, but I do not.” Nope boo, you do. You know if it’s the fear that needs addressing and dealing with the past issues of rejection or abandonment. You know if you just need an accountability partner or an actual mental health counselor or therapist. You know if you are fighting feelings, beliefs even, of unworthiness. You know if you need to return the engagement ring or not bring so and so home for the holiday just to keep up the façade for your family. You know you need to leave your job and find meaningful work, and in order to do so you may need to start spending less and saving more, look at going back to school, consider a pay cut, etc. You know if you need to break up with Ben and Jerry, despite their unfailing faithfulness. You know you need to confront certain people in your life and stop letting them run all over you. See, I told you. You know what you need to do.
Now if this was a Nike ad, I’d say just do it. I’d say make sure in your reflection you can see the iconic swoosh. I also know there is a gap between knowing what we need to change in our lives and changing it.
I really really liked the first outfit I tried on for my vacation, but together, the top and the shorts did nothing for me. I had to start by acknowledging the outfit was not working for me the way I hoped or needed it to. I had to be open to the idea of another possibility that something else I already had would work better, and better reflect me. Something had to change. It ultimately ended up being the shirt.
So this week I’m just gonna ask you to baby step it. I’m gonna ask you to just be open. Be open to looking at your life and seeing what it’s reflecting back. Hold on to the truth of who God in all His graciousness uniquely created you to be. Hold on to the peace, the joy, the excitement, the freedom of that identity, of that reflection. Relish it. And if there are some areas that are being reflected that you are not feeling, that you are struggling to let grace show you through its lens or that grace has revealed as no longer suiting or serving you, linger there and be open to changing things up.
With Love,
Grit + Grace