“Auntie, you can’t do that,” he yelled.
“Why not?”
“Bumblebee doesn’t have a gun Auntie. He has a knife,” he laughed.
“Can’t I use my imagination?”
“Just use the weapon you have, Auntie. You can still do a lot with that” he said while aiming his transformer’s arm canon at mine.
I gave him the side eye, especially since his transformer was bigger, newer, and all weapons were intact. Mine, not so much. My bumblebee transformer was missing a head and its powerful weapon was a tiny plastic yellow and silver knife that if you blew too hard would fall off. And notice how I said his weapons, plural, were intact. I had one weapon. We played, laughed, and battled until it was time for another game.
I don’t know about you but there are times in my life when I am not even close to thrilled or impressed with what I have. It’s not that I’m ungrateful. It’s just that when I look at all I want to do or think I should be able to do, or all that is on my to do list, in my inbox, on the meeting agenda, or my calendar, I’m not exactly confident that what I have is going to cut it. What I have just seems too anything and everything but what I think I need, let alone want. I look around and I become acutely aware of what I don’t have instead of acutely aware of what I do have. I see the bigger, newer, altogether and I think if I can be that. And if I can’t, maybe I can imagine? Can I just not be the headless transformer who brings a puny knife to the whole transformer with the missile and arm canon fight?
Maybe yours is can I not be the girl with dreams way bigger than her current income? Can I not be super qualified employee passed over for the promotion again? Can I not be diagnosed with diabetes? Can I not be fighting for my marriage? Can I not only have one more chance not pas this course before I have to sit out of my program for a year? Can I not have just received the pink slip? The foreclosure? The shut off notice? the no thanks to the second date? Can I not be so lonely? Can I not be taken for granted? Can I not be so broke I can’t get a decent birthday gift for my five year old? Can I not be the only woman of color in my office that I have to swallow every emotion that looks anything close to anger or frustration? Can I not have to hear my parents tell me to get over myself and nothing’s wrong with me because I’ve been seeing a therapist for my depression and anxiety? Can I not ______________?
Caught up as we may get in our can I nots, grace steps in and reminds us of all that we can with all that we have. Grace reminds us that it has us and we are therefore equipped in any given moment in any given season.
Grace reminds us that even in our messy, broken, headless bumblebee transformer states, we’ve still got what it takes to be in the fight.
My hope for you this week is that you are acutely aware of all that you are (Eph. 1:1-15, Psalm 139:14), all that you have, and that you steward them wisely and well. That you stand in all that you are in this season of your life knowing that you are and have enough for right now, for today, because that’s really all any of us have (Matthew 6:25-34). That each “Can I not_____________?” transforms into “With this I can____________.” That you remember to use what you got and that Grace has you.
With Love,
Grit + Grace